i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
