Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
