bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
