She went from zero to smokin in five shots
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
