So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
