So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
