I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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