So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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