and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i barfeds in our rink
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
