So drunk its hurt
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
