At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
