Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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