next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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