No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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