Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
