dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
