I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
