these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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