Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
