Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
