Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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