last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
MIDGETS
????
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
