mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Barsexuality is the new black.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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