I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
