dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
