There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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