he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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