There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
