I'd wear matching sweaters with you
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
