I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
