Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
