so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
