Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
