Are we in a gay sports bar?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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