I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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