she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
