Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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