From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
