This girl is more easily done than said...
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
