Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
