I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
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