Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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