Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
