I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
