My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
