Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
