It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
