what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
