I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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