I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
