I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
