So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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