People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
