I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
