The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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